My son is about to celebrate his first year on earth

I am shepherding a new life as I steer toward a new paradigm.

My family went into lockdown on Friday the 13th of March. In these two and a half weeks I’ve reached the conclusion that no matter how grumpy I get, the sun won’t stop shining. Sounds funny, but I’ve caught myself on a number of occasions grumbling about the sunny clear skies. Why won’t my surroundings mirror and comfort me exactly as I need them to? I see the buds bursting on the trees outside — spring flowers aren’t subject to our regulations nor do they bend to our desires.

I’m grateful to have become a mother this year. As a support my son to grow into his fullest self, to explore the world and make room for him to do so safely (who knew everything in my living room was a hazard to a small life?) I am pulled back from the thoughts of terror and uncertainty to the concrete and real. To watch him, all joy and pulsing life, I am witness to the cyclical nature of everything. Beginning, Middle, and End. The earth won’t stop turning toward the sun no matter how much we exert ourselves and create worlds that defy nature. My son won’t stop growing and dreaming because he can’t play outdoors.

During the huge shifts we are undergoing each one of us will inevitably face our inner voice - both the unconscious, unhealthy patterns of thought as well as the higher self.

Which one will you listen to? Which one will you breath life into?

My latest one-woman show and community building project, There is a Portal will continue. I am convening a fabulous pedagogical and community engagement team and in the fall, we will work across 5 freshmen seminar courses at Queens College to create networks of belonging across race/class/gender and across campus. How might a new student see their world and the possibilities it holds if welcomed into their educational journey through participatory storytelling, deep listening, and personal-political explorations of history? I’m eager for the question to unfold.

In 2003 I created a one-woman show to raise awareness and repair the damage that had been wrought in so many lives after 9/11. I’m pasting the text of my artist’s statement below. Just replace COVID 19 with 9/11.

Whether it’s man-made crisis or natural rhythms, we are offered the opportunity to try again.

To move in a new way in order to create a new story.

We are being pulled through a portal toward the unknown.

We are being shown what is possible if we all move together - in the direction of healing and hope.

With love,
Kayhan