I haven’t written an update for months. I’ve wanted to, but every time I sat down to share a thought, or an observation, I was acutely aware that something was incomplete. And so, I said to myself, why offer a fleeting, shredded little thing when you can gather up your thoughts for something substantial? Little did I know, that the substantial is made from the tattered bits and pieces.
Some of what I learned was really to appreciate myself, my mind, my smarts. I started to notice the little inner voices that would tell me I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, it will never work. But reality was filled with space, room for me to do exactly what I dreamed up. That contradiction, between outside and inside my head, was just what I needed in order to recognize and silence those voices of doubt.
Through living as fully as I could, I was offered pieces of myself – pieces that peer back at me as I peer at them, initiating an act of uncovering. It makes me think of revelation not as some passive gift that is offered from on high, but an endeavor that has to be initiated and carried out. Revelation comes when you push the limitations of your own mind, a new world is revealed as old thinking is moved aside and deeper knowledge is allowed in.
This work doesn’t necessarily need stillness and quiet – it can come through lots of interaction, stimulation and, sometimes, from being in a totally different context. Though I suppose part of the work of reflecting is just that, recognizing your own mind amid a great deal of information. Recognizing how you see, how you get in the way of seeing and how you fit within a larger picture. I am grateful to have had 8 months to hone the art of seeing, and to gain an appreciation of my place in this world.
I am grateful to all the people who offered me kindness, sweetness, great food, and a a bit of their perspective on the world. I look forward to completing my play, having it produced, to writing for other projects in India, and to running theater trainings and community projects in the U.S. I’ll be MCing the Women in Islam awards this month in NYC, I’ll be in Little Rock, Arkansas next month, and I’ll be back in India come September to offer support to an International school in Bombay on their arts programs and curriculum. So, the story continues. Thanks for reading and let’s catch up sometime.